Jeb! Should Grow a Beard

by | Dec 7, 2015 | Carolina Strategic Analysis, Features, National Politics | 6 comments

First of all, let me preface this by saying I’m probably the last person Jeb Bush’s campaign should seek advice from. He has a top-notch campaign team with decades of experience in winning elections, while I’m just a guy on a blog.

But, for whatever reason, things just aren’t working out for Jeb Bush. Voters just aren’t buying what he’s selling. So it’s time they start taking unconventional, “man on the street” advice, even if they really don’t want to entertain it. And my advice is this: Jeb should grow a beard!

Beards are officially en vogue now. Just years before they were pretty much a no-no for anyone with ambitions on higher office. Now, they’re everywhere. Paul Ryan has one and Dan Forest is sporting one too. Phil Berger had a beard before it was cool. I think Americans are ready to elect the first president with facial hair since William Howard Taft over a century ago.

Now, I’m not saying this because I’m a zealous advocate for facial hair in politics. When it comes to Jeb Bush, it’s a matter of aesthetics. Just look at the picture on this post. I think he looks great, giving off an appealing avuncular vibe. It’s an appropriate image for a guy considered to be a policy wonk and a moderate conservative.

In addition to the beard, Jeb’s aides need to get him off the paleo diet (the most unnatural diet ever) and have him start eating real food again. Some people look good skinny; Jeb just isn’t one of them. He looks better fat. Getting Jeb to eat again would not only make him happier on the campaign trail, it will also remedy a common side effect of carbohydrate-restrictive diets: low energy.

Of course, there will be some negatives associated with the beard. Absolutely no one will be fooled and think of it as anything other than a desperate ploy to somehow remake Bush’s image. Donald Trump will no doubt make fun of the beard, possibly coining another epithet like “scraggly” to describe his opponent. But it’s a risk worth taking. What do they have to lose?

Bottom line: looks matter in politics. And at this point, Jeb’s campaign is at the place where they need to experiment, throw stuff at the wall and see with what sticks. For that reason, Jeb should grow a beard. If he loses, he can always shave it off later.

And time, of course, is of the essence. He should start – right now. A simple aesthetic change could make all the difference in the world.

6 Comments

  1. James Willaim

    That sounds interesting! Bearded men and there best facial hair look. Even I like grooming beards and I use effective products to ensure beards growth. It Makes my facial hair well maintained! http://www.beard-growth.com is the best source.

  2. A. D. Reed

    Since his brother Dubya was a beard for Cheney’s presidency, it sounds appropriate enough.

  3. Russell S. Day (@Transcendian)

    I had a beard for a year or two. Can’t remember how long for sure. I looked dangerous. I grew it because I was either on crutches or in a wheelchair and standing in the bathroom, in front of the mirror to shave, was too hard. I looked mean as hell.

  4. Norma Munn

    Could you consider giving The Donald advice about that hair? (Doubt it would make him a better candidate since it is what is in the head, not on it, that ultimately matters, but his hair is truly awful and funny looking at the same time.)

  5. Walt de Vries, Ph.D.

    John: For someone who does not claim to be a campaign consultant (any one can do this, and has) you have given Jeb! the best advice he has received in this campaign. For a candidate who really doesn’t want to run for President (along with the late Teddy Kennedy), Jeb! he needs all the help he can get. You can now open up your campaign consulting office.

    • John Wynne

      Thank you sir for those kind words. I plan to demand payment from the Bush campaign should they use this brilliant idea.

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