Mr. President, Asheville Resident?

by | Jun 9, 2014 | Carolina Strategic Analysis, Economic Development, Features, Race | 9 comments

Life hasn’t been too kind to Asheville liberals lately. Their winter of discontent coincides with the GOP’s taking back the state legislature. Since then, progressives inhabiting the San Francisco of the East Coast have suffered injustice after injustice. First, they found themselves drawn into the district of arch-conservative Patrick McHenry, which still seems like a cruel joke played on them by NC legislators. Next, they had their water supply confiscated and turned over to a regional governing board, had their power of annexation restricted, and several other indignities that appeared constructed solely to punish that liberal mecca of the mountains.

By far the worst indignity suffered by liberals, though, has been the continued existence of Tim Moffitt, their sworn enemy. Despite the ubiquitous presence of “Coexist” bumper stickers on the back of their Priuses, nothing would give Asheville progressives more satisfaction than for Mr. Moffitt to stop breathing. Yes, of all the cities in North Carolina, Asheville seems to have suffered the most under the new GOP leadership.

But the hippies and bohemians of Buncombe spot a ray of sunshine. Barack and Michelle have apparently purchased real estate in Asheville for a post-presidency residence. The Obamas have vacationed in Asheville in the past, and the president has spoken often of retiring here once his term is ended. While the White House has still not confirmed the purchase, it looks like a done deal. The only question is whether this is going to be a summer home, or something more permanent. Whichever, the crunchy, granola-eating crowd will be delighted at the prospect of gaining a presidential neighbor.

The president’s decision to retire here comes as no surprise to anyone. In Asheville, Obama will find kindred spirits. A beer aficionado, he will be excited to learn that Asheville is quickly becoming the craft-beer capital of the Southeast. Upon his arrival, he should immediately commence a bar-crawling mission, where he can sample the finest microbrews (taste-tested by the Secret Service, of course, and brewed with organic hops). Perhaps he will experiment with brewing some of his own, in the post-presidential basement.

In this mountain metropolis, the health-conscious Obamas will find a plethora of farmer’s markets (although the president will be dismayed when he gets the news that the price of arugula has still not gone down). When dining out, this self-described “foodie” will find an abundance of culinary excellence, and if he tilts his ear in the right direction he might get wind of nefarious goings-on and Godfather-like bargains between legislative candidates. He better bring a recorder.

In addition, Asheville offers a vibrant downtown, great nightlife, and live music. He just better not attend any topless rallies, though, because he’ll almost certainly be noticed. Even without an entourage of Secret Service agents, Mr. Obama will stand out in a crowd.

You see, the black population of Asheville, already small to begin with, has been in decline, not just in terms of percentage, but in raw numbers. That’s right: while thousands of white liberals have been descending (ascending?) upon the city for the past decade, during the same period of time almost 1,500 African Americans decided to pack up and leave. Perhaps Mr. Obama should explain clearly to this cohort what he finds so attractive about Asheville. Because while the city continues to enchant the president and other white liberals, the magic is clearly lost on his most loyal group of supporters.

9 Comments

  1. charliereece

    Now I’m hearing that there may actually be some truth to this story (the purchase of property part, not the annoying spin by John). Hmm.

  2. Leake Little

    Harsh commentary for a basic turnaround story arc… Some people can’t see the narrative through the words before them.

  3. Mick

    John: I know you’re trying to be droll and witty, but your portrayal of “tough times for Asheville residents” is actually quite accurate. Yes, they are represented at the federal level and the state level by two other-worldly regressives. Yes, they did have their locally controlled water system confiscated by an intrusive state action (ya know, from the party that traditionally detested bigger government intervention in local affairs). And yes, like all the cities in NC, they did have there powers of annexation limited. So……..what was your point anyway?

    • Thomas Ricks

      It is kind of Two Scoops of Stupid to make fun of the progressives when one claims to be trying to be ‘above it all’ and unite Blue Dogs and Progressives.

  4. Pat Poston

    Let me get this straight: Wayne says the President will stand out in Asheville because he’s BLACK? That the “white” liberals he derides so sarcastically and with such venom must support the President for reasons completely different from the blacks who are “his most loyal” group of supporters? That the influx of “white” liberals is somehow driving away black people? It’s hard to believe stuff like this can get published, even on the internet.

    • charliereece

      Yes, that’s the same story every other outlet has linked to. I’m skeptical, and the White House is denying. Which is neither here nor there on the question of whether the President and First Lady will actually move here one day, but this “story” is VERY thinly sourced.

  5. charliereece

    Have you seen any other outlet pick up this “story”? I haven’t. I’d love for it to be true, but color me skeptical until some kind of formal announcement is made.

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