A few years ago, Thom Tillis told an audience in Madison County that Republicans need to get the deserving poor to “look down on” those who “choose” poverty. He says, “We may end up taking care of those babies, but we’re not going to take care of you.” He called it a “divide and conquer” strategy and he said it before Mitt Romney’s 47% moment. That attitude is pervasive among Republicans and one that is a central dividing line between Democrats and the GOP.
According to a Pew Research poll, 51% of Republicans believe that a person is poor because of a “lack of effort,” while only 32% believe they are poor because of “circumstances beyond his/her control.” Republicans also believe that hard work, not other advantages such as family and connections, leads to riches. On both questions, Democrats are mirror opposites, believing overwhelmingly that individual circumstances and advantages play a powerful role in determining wealth and poverty. Independents agree with Democrats, just not as strongly.
I’m firmly in the Democratic column and my convictions are as much a reflection of my life experiences as my ideological beliefs. I grew up in a middle class family in a town that was half black, half white and almost all poor. I started school the first year of integration and my first grade class was the first to go twelve years in integrated classrooms.
My introduction to black kids must have been a bit of a culture shock. I don’t recall playing with any African-American kids before entering school. I sat in segregated doctors’ offices and, at the movie theater, black families sat in the balcony while whites sat down below. On the rare occasions we ate out, there were never black families in the restaurants, one of which was called The Confederate Room.
Like many white, middle-class families, we had a black maid who was also my caretaker. She lived on the “colored” side of town, down a narrow, winding road with broken pavement, no sidewalks or streetlights but with dozens of dilapidated houses. I remember seeing black children playing in yards and along the street and, at some level, must have known that their experience in their brief lives was vastly different than mine. I lived on a road that served six families. It was wide and always maintained with a street light in the curve. Today, both neighborhoods are essentially unchanged.
In first grade, I quickly made friends with both black kids and white kids and have stayed in touch with many. Meeting poverty, though, was a different matter. There were plenty of kids of both races that obviously didn’t have enough to eat or proper clothes to wear.
In particular, I remember a black kid named Jay. He was tall and lanky and dressed in rags. He seldom had socks and his shoes were riddled with holes. His curly hair always looked dusty. His most startling trait, though, was his odor. Jay smelled bad and the teachers kept him in a corner with other kids in similar shape.
Today, I realize that Jay’s family probably had no running water. Jay would later spend his school years in special education classes which always seemed to be a collection of the poorest kids in school. I doubt he ever escaped poverty but, without a physical impairment, I’m pretty sure that Thom Tillis would consider him among the undeserving poor.
I also learned that poverty is mean. The kids from the mill hill were rougher than those of us from the small middle class. In sixth grade, I walked up on a brutal beating by a kid who seemed to have no empathy as he relentlessly hit another boy who sat on his knees crying and begging, to no avail, for mercy. An accomplice stood watch and to make sure the victim couldn’t run away. These kids were about 12 years old and from two parent households. Years later, the perpetrator’s older brother threatened to beat me because my father had sent him to prison.
In contrast to my early life, I went to a private boarding school where almost everyone was white and everyone was privileged. My first year, I was happy just to escape my small town circumstances. However, in my second and third years, I became aware of stark differences between my experiences and those of my classmates.
Racism was fairly pervasive in the school and I got my first view of anti-semitism since it was also my first experience around Jews. I had certainly seen my share of racism in my small Southern hometown, but it was tinged with the resentment of poor whites. These attitudes were clearly class related defined more by ridicule and condescension than anger and bitterness.
I don’t believe that my classmates in high school consciously looked down on poor people. I think most of them just lacked life experiences that could provide the roots of understanding and reading “The Grapes of Wrath” or “To Kill a Mockingbird” was not enough. They didn’t see themselves as privileged because almost everyone they knew came from similar circumstances. Consequently, most couldn’t grasp the often invisible barriers to success that face kids who grow up in poverty.
After high school, I dropped out of college and went to work back in my hometown. I worked in construction, retail and landscaping. I saw how working people made ends meet. The experience drove me back to college, but even after I got my degree, I went back to construction.
Working hard, I learned, is not the key to economic success. Most of my co-workers, especially those with children, worked multiple jobs instead of just one. They never got ahead but put in the long hours just to stay afloat. And no matter how hard they worked, they were the people most vulnerable in an economic downturn.
In the early 1990s, a recession put me and host of other people out of work. With a young child, I used my college degree to move out of construction and into social work. Friends without an education didn’t have that luxury and I watched several struggle and even move their families to find jobs.
For about three years, I was a child neglect and abuse investigator in rural North Carolina. A big part of my job was doing home visits to assess situations. While I had seen plenty of poverty growing up, I was still shocked at the conditions of some families.
In one case, a couple lived in a trailer with a six month old child who was clearly undernourished. The father worked full-time and the mother stayed home to care for the baby. She clearly loved the child and was concerned about her health, but didn’t know what to do. We learned that she had lost another child to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. We also found that she was feeding the baby low-fat milk from a bottle and only about three times a day. The child was slowly starving to death.
It didn’t take long to realize that the mother and father were both mentally impaired. As much as they wanted to, neither parent had the mental capacity to care for the child. We removed the child from the home, devastating both parents who just vowed to have another one. Those parents are the people Tillis says we won’t help.
During that job, I saw numerous parents with untreated mental illness and diminished intellectual capacity. Some of the saddest cases were watching children who, at seven or eight years old, were smarter than their parents. They were often trouble at school with few limits at home but they would try, in whatever distorted way a young child can, to care for their parents. I guess it’s good they will because Thom Tillis won’t.
And all of that is why I’m a Democrat. People born into poverty rarely have the means to escape it without help. People born into privilege usually stay there because of structural advantages including personal relationships and access to capital.
The two-parent families that social conservatives like to cite are not the panacea they claim. In my experience, most churches made little impact on the incidence of poverty but preached hard against the evils of alcohol, abortion and gays. Unaided, the market hasn’t lifted many people out of poverty and it’s certainly not provided economic stability to those who live on the edge. And while the government might not be able to help everyone, it can certainly offer as many ropes and ladders as possible to those who want to climb out of poverty.
And that’s the difference between me and the Republicans. They’re more concerned about people gaming the system. I’m more concerned about alleviating the impact of poverty. They are willing to let deserving people suffer in order prevent the 2%-3% fraud in the system. I’m willing to tolerate that fraud to make sure that anybody deserving is not left behind.
To me, the travesty is not the money taken from the public coffers. It’s the kid who could have escaped if he just hadn’t fallen through the crack. Poverty is mean and ugly. From what I’ve seen, it’s more often the result of untreated mental illness or disabilities and the resulting neglect and abuse than from laziness or the desire to get something for nothing. And, as the recent recession has shown, our volatile economic system can send as many people back into poverty as it helps pull out.
Our legislature is firmly in the Republican camp, hoping they can convince the electorate of Tillis’ divide and conquer strategy. They denied Medicaid to 500,000 even as other red states are expanding the program. They’ve denied unemployment benefits to the long-term unemployed even though our economy is still just inching along. They left families without food assistance through utter incompetence, but nobody is held accountable. In short, they believe poverty is a choice and that by punishing the victims, less people will choose that lifestyle.
I couldn’t disagree more.
Thomas Mills is the founder and publisher of PoliticsNC.com. Before beginning PoliticsNC, Thomas spent twenty years as a political and public affairs consultant. Learn more >
J-
I’ll be frank. Your post demonstrates a high level of regressive bitterness and a mean-spirited mindset. IMO, the only thing that’s “undeserved” is your own US citizenship.
Thank you for this fine piece of writing. I had an entirely different upbringing, in NJ. We were poor basically because my father became disabled. I hated it and was determined to escape. I put myself through college, some semesters both working full-time AND going to school full-time. I got a series of good jobs, each 1 an improvement on the last.
I married a good man; we both wanted to go to graduate school, so we moved here ~1975. We continued to work hard, and built a house – yes, we actually built almost all of it ourselves. I’d never held a hammer before, but I learned to hang drywall, among other things.
We finally decided we were ready to have a family – we were ready, financially & had been married 10+ years.
Our son was one of the very first kids in NC who was doagnosed with Aspergers. No one really knew what to do. TEACCH gave us very good advice, & I took my son to every kind of therapy they recomended. His very difficult challenges started about the time my now-ex-husband lost his job because of bad investments & predictions his boss made – so, not his fault. Then he was in a bad car accident, also not his fault. My father died; my mother was diagnosed with COPD, & could not live alone, so she moved in with us.
The stress was just too much. He moved out, and we divorced. I was left to take care of both my ailing mother & my disabled son.
What did I do? I put myself thru law school. I was determined I was not going back to being poor.
~10 years after I had launched a successful law practice – and buried my mother and put my son thru college (God Bless Guilford College for opening their arms to great kids with unusual needs!) – I got sick, and eventually disabled, completely & permanently. I was forced into early retirement at age 55. It was devastating. I get $1014 in SSDI a month.
I said all that because, after so many years of working extremely hard, I feel like I have a better understanding about poverty than I did when I was growing up. I’m thankful, now, that I learned how to bake bread, and mend socks, & other skills that mostly no one even talks about anymore. But I spend many days too exhausted to do a lot of things that many people would consider essential & basic.
21st Century life is complicated. Not everyone has the ability to cope — there will always be some among us who lack the energy & the advanced planning/managing/problem-solving/budgeting, etc. skills that it takes to live well in these times, with the best will in the world. That doesn’t make them “bad people,” out to “profit” from the “good people.” Most people cope the best they can; sometimes it’s not enough. And sometimes they end up sick or in trouble & in poverty despite a lot of hard work.
But, the choice we face as a society is BOTH a moral one, in my opinion, and a pragmatic one: if we fail to INVEST in trying to lift CHILDREN out of poverty, we are doing something very penny-wise-pound-foolish…if we decide it’s “too expensive” to provide SNAP & WIC & good public schools, & health care, etc., we will simply pay more later, in the form of sick adolescents & adults who have diseases & illnesses that were preventable, & adults who could have achieved self-sufficiency if they could have afforded to stay in school, finished HS & gotten at least 2 years of college. If insanely profitable corporations refuse to pay a living wage, taxpayers will make up the difference.
Finally, 1 correction, & 1 response to the guy who griped about SNAP/Food Stamps: people who use SNAP cards are not always shopping for themselves; I’m home-bound, & someone shops for me; that person you saw buying cigarettes with cash, & cupcakes w/a card may very well have been buying those cupcakes for someone whose only birthday treat was a couple of cupcakes. People buy cars, & then lose jobs; having a car doesn’t make you a free-loader. I have been on food stamps; the day I had no choice but to go in and apply, I sat in my 10-yr-old car & cried for hours before I finally did it. Many many more people are ashamed of being on foodstamps than think it’s a great way to game the system, & considering what they put you thru when you apply, and how little you get, it’s not worth the humiliation of having someone looking into every corner of your life.
In the county where I live, you cannot go to a food bank UNLESS you have a letter in your hands, whch you pick up at DSS on the day you’re going to the foodbank, that says you are on SNAP; so you can’t go to the foodbank INSTEAD of being on foodstamps; and you are allowed to go a MAXIMUM of 6x…per YEAR. So, people should stop thinking food banks can replace food stamps.
Correction: There is NO AFDC anymore; remember Bill Clinton “ending welfare as we know it”?? There. is. no. welfare. left. in. this. country.
TANF, Temporary Aid to Families w/Dependant Children, is exactly what it says: very temporary, only available to parents w/ young children, VERY meager, & also “Work-fare” – you must be looking (hard) for work; there are all kinds of caps, including a lifetime cap of 5 years.
The waiting list for Sec. 8 housing was 3-4 years long….until the economy crashed in 2008. Now it is 5 years…although last time I checked they were no longer even taking applications because the list was so long.
This is all the experience of someone blessed with a relatively high IQ, who ate well as a child, who attended good public schools, who is not Black or other disadvantaged minority, who at least was strong & healthy until ~age 55, and waited to have children until after she married…whose savings disappeared due to illness. Take away any of those advantages, and you end up with someone trapped in a cycle of generational poverty, not because they want to be, but because the hurdles are impossibly high. And, look around you, because MOST people you know, most ordinary hard-working people, are just ONE bad accident, ONE mistake, ONE lost job, ONE less than-perfect-choice away from poverty. And the “safety net” is almost nonexistent.
I’m sorry this is so long
Thank you for your willingness to “be long”. All is important in helping to lay out what can and does happen to real people. I regret you are not able to do all you may have hoped to do in life due to your health (my assumption) however, you made a great contribution today, as many days through the years! Not a one of us knows which day we will be less abled – and how life will be different. If not now, probably late, we and/or family members/ friends may need our help or the help of a program to survive. Thank you so much for your courage and telling your story. .
Kate _C
I am sorry for your health problems . You may need to get your eyes checked too. Perhaps it was someone’s birthday with all the beer and cigarettes. And cigars to roll “blunts” with .Sounds like the makings to one hell of a birthday party If you ask me. I’m sure if he could have got away with buying all of it on a foodstamp card he would have. You just don’t see it . No, having a car doesn’t make you a freeloader , that would be the other thing I am talking about here. Wake the #*&% up ! We don’t have enough to give away to the “undeserving” is my only point , it has to come to an end sometime. Thanks for the response.
Mr. Mills: Reading, again, your post this morning immediately after reading of Ms. Angelou’s death, made me recall her words: “History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” I thank you for helping us face our history and helping us avoid reliving it.
Thank you so much, Marshall Taylor, for your posting. Thanks for honoring Ms. Angelou – what a loss now AND what a gift she has been to so many. Our courage is a resource and so critical which gives me hope Sometimes, it seems, for those with so many challenges, courage is the best resource they can apply. In my way of thinking, no hope makes it hard to act on courage.
Thank you, Marshall.
Thank you for the deep felt article, Thomas.Your words are refreshing in this era of hatred of women, the poor and liberal thinking.
I live in Wadesboro — Anson County and I think attitudes here have changed/evolved over the last years. Lonnie and I moved here from Charlotte in 1969 and opened a record shop. Most of our customers were young African Americans and we appreciated their support. We were threatened by the KKK for serving them.
You are right, Thomas, poverty is at the root of a lot of bad behavior. Several years ago the Methodist Church took on a project to sponsor the Circles program. Its purpose is to help people move from poverty to self-sufficiency. We have learned the language and values differences between the those in poverty and the middle class. We have witnessed the progression from poverty to the freedom of improved economic situations. We have seen people go from sullen and closed to open and loving.
Oh, there are pockets of prejudice and hate, but not as blatant as in past years. But,
I think you would be proud of your home town Thomas and Fetzer, Jr.
Anna H Baucom
Thanks for reading and thanks for your comments and years of service. I hope that I didn’t sound too critical of Anson County. I was more trying to capture my experience with poverty and its roots. I’ve always been proud of being from there. So proud, in fact, that I named my son Anson. Thanks again, Anna.
Thomas, you were not judgemental in you article — simply stating facts. I think I am going to enjoy politicsnc.com.
Anna Baucom
There are two sides to every coin. I have seen both and I think that if you can help your fellow man, do just that . Regardless of their color or social standing . But , (there’s always a but) And here’s mine . Some people could “do better” if they would apply themselves instead of just thinking I am a victim of circumstance . Fraud in the system is and will always be a problem to the man and woman who is paying their asses off in taxes to see it being given away to folks who could “do better’ for themselves and the only thing is , there is no way of knowing who’s telling the truth or lying to the system when applying for assistance. The Good Book reads Though shall not lie . But the problem is that this Commandment is not being followed. Democrat or Republican , Just how do you “do better” for the one’s who is paying for the ones who should be “doing better”? Seems like poverty is a choice in some cases . The check is in the mail attitude has got to stop sometime , Agree?
Thanks for reading, J. I don’t think there are very many people for whom poverty is a “choice.” Most people are on public assistance for short periods. The majority are on AFDC for less than two years. In terms of the budget, welfare is a small percentage (about 4%) and is dwarfed by the amount that we subsidize big corporations, whose CEOs now have a median income of more than $10 million per year.
I am sure you know more statistics about the Nation and the CEO’s than I do , ( I don’t believe they are right though). What I am relating to is here in our county , Anson County. If I may… I was in a store the other day and the guy in front of me bought beer ,cigarettes ,and cigars. He brought out a large roll of cash and paid for it . Then he put a box cupcakes on the counter and paid for it with a foodstamp card. I walked out behind him and he was driving a new car. “Get it”. My wife and I live and work here and see it all the time . Much worse than this. especially at tax time when the claiming dependents bullshit starts and these folks get thousands of dollars from the government when they are lying about it and claiming kids that they don’t have . I will give the “deserving” my tax dollars and feel good about it , but when you see what we see on a daily basis you cant help but feel like you are being cheated by these people . Please don’t get me wrong, I love the USA just not some of the people in it. But It cooks my butt to see this abuse of the system that is supposed to be for the “deserving” folks in our county. And maybe you should start paying attention to the amount of abuse that goes on and write an article on that . I bet if you would you would question those statistics too. Thanks for the response . J
Hello Bill. I’m Thomas’ big brother and had the same experiences only I went to segregated public schools for three years. Thomas didn’t bother to mention the fire-bombings of a neighbor’s business because he supported school integration or that the school superintendent, Mr. Wildermuth, had a cross-burned in his yard. He didn’t mention the adults who threw full beer bottles and cans at me from cars and screaming, “Nigger lover!” Even though those people were too cowardly to show their faces we know who they were. They were KKK and pretty colorful characters; green teeth, red necks and brown skidmarks in their drawers from shitting themselves with fear. They were KKK and the founding fathers of today’s Republican Party.
Spot on Thomas! The Republican attack on rights of recipientship continues despite all the longitudinal data that prove it works. Despite a platform that denies these rights and a long history of authorizing social welfare programs (with Democrats) many elected GOP officials choose to under-fund the very social programs they voted into existence. It’s a classic case of speaking out of both sides of their mouths. You bring authenticity and relevance to our shared experience growing up in an impoverished rural area like Anson County.
Thomas – This was a wonderful post. You totally captured what it means (or what it should mean) to be a Democrat.
Thanks, George.
Thomas, brilliant. I was graduated Wadesboro High two years before integration. The memories you shared, of the Ansonia, the racial separation by communities and churches and schools is still agonizing. Well done.
Thank you.
Thanks Thomas, I grew up in Anson County and continue to live here. I am a few years older than you; however, our experience seems similar. You articulated my thoughts. For that I thank you.
Thanks for reading.
This is perhaps one of the best and most insightful pieces I’ve read. It removes the game element from politics and inserts human into the equation. And the people should be what the entire object of the exercise is all about. Not just a few, not just the privileged, not just the elites; but all of the people.
As a primer on the ideology that drives the Tillises of the world and as a support piece on this article, I offer the following:
http://www2.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power/class_domination.html
No Bill – you are the idiot. You we were probably the bully in Wadesboro who was kicking the 12 yo relentlessly. Perhaps you will find a conscious before you die. Probably not.
Mills, you’re an idiot and you’ve embellished most of your article. You make the people from Wadesboro out to be a bunch of thick headed raciest. Which is total BS. Oh, you went away to “boarding school” yet you have the gall to talk down to the good folks of Wadesboro. You should be ashamed of yourself. Shame of you and your uppity Lib ways. Get a life.
Interesting that I found the item similar to some of my own experiences growing up in another state – poverty all around and then seeing real poverty when doing similar work providing human services in three states. Rising out of poverty, in my experience, can be hit or miss with more miss – and pretty hard without a, sometimes hard to find, lifeline which is usually not sent down from the previous generation.
Keep talking. Don’t keep your ignorance under a basket.
If a conservative is speaking, a conservative is lying.
Wonderful article, Thomas. I also grew up in Anson County and the images you so eloquently describe are familiar to me. I firmly believe that social capital plays a very important role in the success of individuals and families. I came from a family, often supported by only one parent, that struggled to make ends meet. The divide between myself and many of my classmates was clear to me. I worked 2-3 jobs to put myself through college but I also realize I had support and encouragement from my family, even if financial support was limited. It sickens me how North Carolina has let down its citizens. We clearly seem to be going backwards under Republican “rule.”
Thanks, Dena. Glad you liked it.
A great article, well written and provocative. I can relate as a child of lower middle class growing up in a small NC town myself. I always knew that even though I was somewhat poor, I had advantages that some others lacked. Firstly, in that time period, it was huge advantage just to be white. I see that clearly. I attended a really good public school. We lived in a safe, clean (albeit not fashionable) neighborhood. My parents provided the essentials. And I also had the advantage of being born with a fairly high IQ. I was placed in an accelerated class, which bumped me up another notch in opportunities. My brother was even smarter and received a full scholastic scholarship to a prestigious college. So yeah, we were poor, but we had these advantages. Thom Tillis needs to re-think his attitude. He and his GOP friends are in the place they are in, for the most part, from just luck. They didn’t work any harder than I have worked, and actually I’ve probably worked harder.
Thank you for the thought provoking article. My experience was similar to yours, in that I grew up in a small town in Alabama though I attended public schools. I am a Social Worker and worked in child welfare and witnessed first hand the effects of poverty, racism, class, gender, mental illness, substance abuse, and lack of education and opportunity. The human condition of some people in our country is sobering and sad. I was encouraged when I moved to NC to the Triangle area by the quality of education in the public school, colleges, and universities. NC was more progressive in their approach to addressing system issues that cause many of society’s ills, particularly under the Hunt Administration than Alabama. These are not political party issues, these are issues of the Human Condition. Perhaps political candidates could provide us with Action Plans that would give more detail regarding how they plan to address societal challenges? Just a thought.
Wow! Your article blew me away. Thanks for the picture from your viewpoint and the background that underlies your viewpoint.
Thank you for sharing that, Thomas. It’s clear that, in writing it, you reached deep down into your own life experiences. With regard to race, the poor, and the mentally-impaired, I felt compelled to read it fully (several times) as my own experience (all of it in NY until moving the NC in 2006) was quite different.
But on the economic class aspect, I could relate. Ours was a middle-class Long Island family. My dad and mom worked multiple jobs so that their kids could go to the better private K-12 schools, and then go to college wherever they wanted. They instilled a work ethic and respect for others that have guided and blessed my life. And, my grandparents did the same for my parents.
Today, at 64, I wonder about those in my generation who didn’t have the same advantage of a family’s caring, strength, encouragement and guidance. Knowing how hard I had to work to be “successful,” even with factors of a good family and schooling in my sails, tells me that, unless born into especially good circumstances or just plain lucky, almost everone needs help of some sort at some time –whether from other people, government, local organizations, etc– in their “pursuit of happiness.”
And so here I am today, not a Dem, not a Repub, but a unaffiliated progressive who doesn’t want to coddle those unwilling to try, but who also understands that everyone needs help of some king along the way, especially those who never had a strong foundational basis in their early lives.
Thank you, Thomas, my childhood is very similar to yours. I was with a money manager over lunch. Normally I don’t talk politics with people in this field but I told I was a Democrat. He asked, Why Democrat? I said, social justice, your point exactly. How can an uneducated, poor, unhealthy citizenry create a society in which we would like to live?
Great read. Might I recommend something drier, but interesting, a study that suggests people’s predispositions toward the poor are mutable: http://pure.au.dk/portal/files/62626887/Crowding_Out_Culture_Aar_e_Petersen.pdf
Great article. I’m a little older and remember the first black kids coming to our, openly hostile, middle school. I will be forever grateful for the strength and courage of those kids. I grew up in a “Jesse Helms” family, listening to “anti-communist preachers; it took a while but the seeds that those brave kids planted slowly took root in my heart.
Great job Thomas
Thanks, Brian, and thanks for reading.
Love this article, for it mirrors the reason why I am a Democrat, as well.