Well, if you are a Tea Partier, the next scandal at UNC-Chapel Hill won’t happen in the athletic department. It will happen in the race for student body president. A gay, undocumented Latino student is running for the office.

Think about it. The University is already a socialist institution, run by a bunch of pointy-headed academic types who teach heresies like evolution and offer classes on Marxism. Now, a queer foreign illegal wants to take over the school and the whole thing’s written up in that socialist propaganda rag, The New York Times. There’s a dangerous conspiracy in there somewhere.

Emilio Vincente grew up in Siler City after coming to this country from Guatemala with his mother when he was only six years old. He did well in school, stayed out of trouble and got a full scholarship to attend UNC-CH. Now, he’s running for student body president.

His life has not been easy. His parents returned to Guatemala after his father had an accident that left him paralyzed. He’s the epitome of someone who has pulled himself up by his bootstraps and worked hard to better himself and his condition.

Real patriots should be celebrating him. If anybody embodies the spirit of the people who settled and made this country great, it’s Emilio. He’s beat the odds through hard work and determination.

But for Tea Partiers, his candidacy inflames all of their most paranoid fantasies. Brown-skinned foreigners are invading our country, sucking up all our tax-dollars and the gays are taking over the nation. I fully expect an army of tricorne hats to descend on the University to canvas for a “real American”–you know, somebody who is white and straight and whose family has been here since the Ark landed at Plymouth Rock.

For my part, I say “Go, Emilio, go!” I’m pulling for him. I don’t care if he wins the race, I just want to see him succeed in the Land of Opportunity.

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